Valor Mortis review: "First-person Souslike parrying feels clutch, but

Valor Mortis is an easy game to like, and an even easier game to fantasize about kicking down a flight of stairs. It's a perfectly functional Soulslike based around swordplay and parrying, which is about as novel in 2026 as having a pause screen. It's also got terrible scripted parkour sequences that will make you wish you could snap off the lead character's legs. It even has a frikkin' sewer level. Yet, it keeps nearly winning me back. Its combat can be exhilarating, the pulpy writing charming, and its puppydoggish "look ma! I'm making my first Soulslike! I am, I am!" enthusiasm is contagious. How can you hate a game that has a boss fight against a sentient windmill? Well, that boss fight being a finicky slog certainly helps… You died (Image credit: Lyrical Games) Fast facts Release date: October 13, 2026 Platform(s): PC, PS5, Xbox Series X Developer: One More Level Publisher: Lyrical Games You're William, a loyal soldier of Napoleon Bonaparte with such low life expectancy that William dies on the battlefield before the game even starts. William somehow recovers from that setback, rising from the grave with a classic case of videogame protagonist amnesia. He's now in a nightmarish version of Europe where everyone has succumbed to a horrible plague that makes them want to draw swords and turn William into a shish kebab. William may not remember what's happened to him but you'll be able to get by on muscle memory if you've played anything even vaguely Souls-y before. Brutal combat that's all about parrying blows and striking at the perfect moment. No map screen. Shortcuts steadily unlocked. If you die you get one chance to get your level-up currency back, yada yada yada. If you don't like learning to parry then go play something else (also, my deepest sympathies, gaming in 2026 must be miserable for you). Valor Mortis demands precise sword-tennis right from the start, with even rank-and-file enemies taking multiple parries to finally break their guard. If you bounced off Sekiro and Ominusha: Way of the Sword , I'd recommend running away screaming from this. (Image credit: Lyrical Games) You also have a gun and the power to shoot flames from your fingers, and it's nice to see these treated not as mere bonuses but as valid strategies. I finally got through the game's first boss when I realized that I wanted him on fire as much as possible. And once you get the blunderbuss, it's great fun cutting swordsmen off by just blasting them in the face, Indiana Jones-style. Still, being able to shoot fire from your hands is a videogame idea so ancient it might actually predate man discovering fire. The other powers you gain aren't that imaginative either. The ability to stop time is used for seen-it-all-before-puzzles, like freezing a cog in place so you can get through a gate before it drops. Another power creates platforms and walls you can run on, but only in predetermined areas. The final power is a shield which deflects attacks, which rewards you spending the last twenty hours of mastering the parry with the power to, er, no longer have to worry about it as much. Eh? Witch is Familiar (Image credit: Lyrical Games) Valor Mortis is made by the developers of Ghostrunner, the fun but also incredibly infuriating parkour game . That makes this the first time in human history a studio has pivoted to making a Soulslike and actually made a game that's less frustrating. But, as it goes on, Valor Mortis increasingly plays like it wants to be Ghostrunner 3. Wall-running and swinging off poles works fine for a while. It's even somewhat liberating to play as someone so acrobatic in a genre that usually roots you stubbornly to the ground. But Valor Mortis occasionally demands perfect parkour from you in scripted set-pieces. This was around the point I debated throwing my gaming laptop into a roaring fire. These feel like irritating memory tests rather than fun platforming challenges, and seem to forget I have access to a sprint button. Occasionally I'd leap on a platform only to be insta-killed because tsk tsk the game had plans to dramatically destroy that platform before I reached it, and my naughty sprinting ahead had spoiled the fun. Instant death for you. (Image credit: Lyrical Games) A pity, because Valor Mortis does have a few nasty surprises (complimentary). I love how the 'dog' enemies are actually human soldiers who've horrifically twisted themselves into a canine shape. They then chase you, barking like bloodthirsty hounds. That's a stroke of evil genius. Please get it the hell away from me. And there's a reason parrying is gaming's verb of choice at the moment. It feels great and jammy as hell to pull off, and that's still true here. The first person camera gives it a brutal you-are-there immediacy that a traditional third-person camera could only dream of. The game's best boss fights, brutal parry-offs where you're only a few minor mistakes away from the grave, are immensely satisfying, even if a slightly wobbly power curve meant that the first boss was by far the most trouble I had. (Image credit: Lyrical Games) Fair warning that jank currently runs through it like a French blade through a whiny British videogame critic (er, hopefully not?). Crashes to desktop, a framerate that's all over the place, and one boss suddenly not attacking me presumably because they're aware I'm on a tight review deadline – thanks again, The Orphan! I played this on a PC that ran Gears of War: E-Day without a hitch, so I'd recommend seeing how the launch day patch holds up across PC and console, which we're told addresses many of these issues. As William explores, he occasionally hears the voice of Napoleon Bonaparte in his head, offering some unsolicited combat philosophy. Alas, Napoleon's hilariously banal insights wouldn't make the cut for an office motivational poster, let alone the battlefield. This is meant to be one of the greatest military strategists of all time? I'd be amazed if this chump could win a game o